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Being kind to others comes as second nature to most of us right?
We easily encourage another person, compliment them, smile at them, let them know that they are doing a great job …. that they are loved and supported.
Why is it so much harder for us to be kind to ourselves?
After having a tough day we often listen to our inner critic to review what’s gone wrong … you should have … why did you say that? … didn’t you realise that … we feel anxious, berated and like we’ve failed, certainly not the way we treat others we care about.
Now consider how you would have treated a friend in this scenario. Differently? For most of us, the answer is yes. We would listen, empathise, encourage and make that person feel like we are on their side, in their corner and if asked we help them come up with a plan to move forward … isn’t this what friends do?
There is enough negativity in the world so my challenge every day is to change it! and that starts with the way I treat and think about myself and the way I talk to myself. Negative self-talk is so, well negative! I’m realising how important it is to love and treat myself the way I treat those I love and care about. In fact, being in a healthy relationship with myself is proving very important for my overall well-being. It is teaching me that kindness, love is the foundation for healing and personal growth. It provides emotional strength and resilience, allowing me to make mistakes, forgive myself, embrace my imperfections and motivate myself with kindness.
So if you are recognising negative self-talk in your behaviour, do not worry my friend, because you can learn and practise being kinder to you …
Here are a few ideas you can put into practice today …
Diarise time for you …
Take some time to unplug from your phone, computer, social media, meetings and demands made on you by everyone in your world. Your system needs time to reboot and refocus. So allow yourself some time, could be 3 10 minute breaks where you make a cup of tea and drink it while you take in a view of a lovely painting, your garden, a bunch of flowers, listen to music, do some yoga, or guided meditation … something other than work-related stuff that demands your energy and attention in every other waking moment. Do something that calms your mind and brings you joy.
Listen & acknowledge how you are feeling … then accept & appreciate yourself
Rather than deny how you are feeling, be honest and acknowledge where you are at, maybe feeling satisfied with life and totally chilled, maybe frustrated and stressed … being kind to yourself means allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. Instead of judging your emotions or trying to numb them, you give yourself permission to experience them, without judging yourself. This goes hand in hand with self-acceptance which means that you stop trying to change yourself into something you’re not and at the same time be open to discovering the real person you are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, we all make silly mistakes and we all fail from time to time.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row custom_padding=”0|0px|10px|0px|false|false” _builder_version=”3.4.1″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.4.1″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.4.1″]None of us is perfect …
(except for my dad – he always sings this Mac Davis Song to me when I see him – Oh lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way, can’t wait to look in the mirror because I get better looking each day … love him – lol) [/et_pb_text][et_pb_video src=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYKWch_MNY0″ _builder_version=”3.4.1″ max_width=”75%” module_alignment=”center”][/et_pb_video][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.4.1″]By accepting yourself just the way you are, you make space for new experiences, new hopes and dreams, and you make room to become who you really are. [/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row custom_padding=”17px|0px|10px|0px|false|false” _builder_version=”3.4.1″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.4.1″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.4.1″]Take care of your body first …
This is a little like the safety announcement on an aeroplane when we are told to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before helping anyone else … getting good nourishing food in, enough sleep and being active daily without compromise is the best way to be kind to yourself before anyone else … the reason is simple, without you functioning at 100% you can’t help others effectively. We think we can and we try our best but this is one thing that will come back and bite you. This is one thing we need to do … it is about raising the level of necessity and prioritising yourself.
Give thanks for your achievements, no matter how small …
It is much easier to tell someone else how amazing they are and congratulate them on their achievements than it is to do just that to ourselves. It feels conceited and like we shouldn’t need to do so, because well, they are our achievements … the value in doing this for ourselves is in the insight and awareness it brings for continual forward motion, growth and development. So the next time you achieve something small, stop and acknowledge it and say something to yourself like … good effort! or well done, or awesome job is done!
Make friends with your biggest critic …
You know that judgmental voice we adopt when we berate ourselves for our actions, it sounds like a continual stream of criticism – negative self-talk – tends to push us into a state where we will do anything to silence it, we push it away, we ignore it, we end up punishing ourselves and bury our heads in the sand, when all we really need to do is listen from a distance, in a non-judgemental way and acknowledge that the voice is simply trying to protect us, to ensure we are prepared should we be faced with a repeat performance. So rather than feeling fearful, open ears and eyes, listen and see with curiosity. When you hear that self-talk and it begins to drag you down with negative thoughts, try to engage with that voice and begin a dialogue. What is driving this? What is it trying to tell you? Then be compassionate with yourself and accept your feelings. As soon as you realise that your critical voice is ultimately trying to help you and when you try to understand its underlying fears and needs, it will lose its power. Because in the end, the most effective way to approach yourself is from a place of kindness and compassion.
Tell yourself “I am enough” every day !!
Choose to believe you are enough … put a positive perspective on just like you would a pair of glasses. These glasses bring in to focus the good stuff. Then tell yourself that you are enough at regular intervals throughout the day. Try this, on waking to say: I am enough! 3 times and boldly. Then 1/2 way through your day, ask yourself Am I enough? and check in with your mindset, follow this up with a bold I am enough statement. Then before you go to bed say – I have lived today to the full because I am enough! (even if you know there is room for improvement) Be consistent with this practise and give it a go for 7 days. Set an alarm on your phone that buzzes at specific intervals in your day to remind you to do this …
The relationship we have with ourselves is one of the most meaningful relationships we can have, we know ourselves inside and out …
Choose to come from a place of kindness and compassion and just be … [/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider _builder_version=”3.4.1″][/et_pb_divider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row custom_padding=”6px|0px|5px|0px|false|false” _builder_version=”3.4.1″][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.4.1″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_image src=”https://colettepienaar.files.wordpress.com/2022/02/fd518-a-woman-in-motion-cheat-sheet-a4-3d-transparent-1.png” url=”https://www.ultimatebodyformula.co.uk/welcome” _builder_version=”3.4.1″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”3.4.1″ parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.4.1″]
Find out how the ladies on the Ultimate Body Formula Program learn to be kinder to themselves every day and how this state of being helps them achieve their goals.
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